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Teachers are not easily tell if a shy student, because in general they do not like noise or problems. Shyness can be a serious problem because it will hinder a child's life, for example in the association, the growth of self-esteem, learning, and self adjustment. Generally characteristic of children is too sensitive shy, hesitant, isolated, depressed, and too difficult to get along. So they need to be given assistance.
CAUSE PROBLEMS
1. Elements of Heredity
This is an indirect factor and uncertain. From birth the child looks a bit sensitive and the possibility of it happening because of innate moment when the mother was pregnant with mental and physical pressure. But this is also yet to be a strong evidence of a sensitive child later whether it would be a shy.
2. Childhood Less Happy
There are some children who experience things that are less fun in his childhood. For example, parents often move, parental divorce, parental death, were forced to change schools or humiliated by a friend and so forth. All the experiences that lead to the disruption of their social relationship with the environment, like dodge or retreat, and did not dare mingle with strangers.
3. Lack of community
Shy nature would occur if the child lives with a background in which he was neglected by her parents, or raised in a family environment into exile, too restrained so that they can not have normal social relationships with the community.
4. Inferiority complex
Perhaps a sense of shame that arise because the child was short, being stiff or have a bad habit, then tried to cover it up with a way to be alone or to avoid interaction with others. Due to lack self-confidence and thought he was not comparable with others, he does not like to show themselves in the crowd.
5. Others Views
Many children become shy because of the views of others who had penetrated into her since childhood. Perhaps adults are often told that she was shy, even teachers and friends also thinks the same, so that finally he really be a shy.
Though these children will become children who excel in science and technology, or they can also be seniman2 and world-class masters, they are children who are sensitive and full of love, especially love of the parents.
Because of some agan who ask what's the solution, add ane seh .... How do I encourage shy kids become confident:
1. Eye contact
When talking with a child, he always asked for your eyes. With force and apply it every time, children will gradually get used to making eye contact with the speaker.
If the child does not feel comfortable staring right in the eyes of the speaker, taught him to look at the top of the nose between the eyes of people in front of him. With repeated practice, children will not require this technique more and more confidence to stare straight in the eyes of his interlocutor.
2. Coaching conversations
Create a list containing the opening sentence of a conversation that is easy to use children to talk to various groups of people, such as a person who has been known, adults who have never met, who seldom met old friends, new kid at school, or child who often play with him in playground.
After that, take the child to practice using these sentences to feel familiar and comfortable to say it. One trick that can be used is to practice the conversation via telephone with a supportive audience at the other end. Thus, the child will not feel setertekan as if face to face talks.
3. Practicing socialization
Prepare the child to attend a social event that will soon be held to explain the background, expectations, and the audience who came to roughly the event. Then, help your child practice how to meet other people at the dinner table etiquette, basic skills of speaking, and how to say goodbye gracefully.
4. Opponent practice
Philip Zimbardo, renowned as an expert to overcome embarrassment, shy children recommend to pair with the younger children to practice within a short period. Create opportunities for children to play with other children younger than himself, such as brother, cousin, neighbor's child, or one of your acquaintances.
If a shy teenage boy, let him take care of small children to practice skills that are reluctant dipraktikkannya socialize with children his age.
5. One on one
Dr. Fred Frankel, a psychologist and former Social Ability Training Program at UCLA, suggested a game one on one as the best way for children to build self-confidence.
Encourage children to invite a friend to play together for a few hours to know each other and make friends to practice skills. Provide small meals as a snack and prevent interruptions as far as possible from their activities. Do not allow children turn on the television during the play session.
Perceptions of Parents Determine the Future of Children
Denise ran a small food refuse disuapkan going into his mouth. Mama chasing behind him, shouting, "Denise let this eat you know it's late. You will be hungry. Mama's still a lot of other work ya!" From his tone can be described feeling hopeless and do not know what to do. Feeling irritated, angry, tired and helpless reflected in actions and words of his mama. Si Deni with acuhnya running to and fro.
Shortly thereafter came the Ferry, brother Denis, who was in junior high school. While he threw his bag onto the couch to the refrigerator and took a drink there. After that he took off his shoes and socks and let it lay abandoned in front of the fridge. Then go to his room and yelled, "Ma'am get me to eat dong. Hungry ya!"
If you are facing the events above what would you do? Are you going to directly scold them? Or are you going to beat them because we no longer stand his behavior? Or you will be immediately called him and yelled at them? Or maybe you will ask them gently on what actually happened to them and then help them find a solution?
Not so important what your actions. The most important thing here is to find out what your main cause of such action. It does not matter whether you are angry or questioning him gently. What is important is the thinking behind the action. This is control yourself for this. Thinking is what lies behind your actions to educate and nurture children. We call it by perception.
Where perception arise? The perception arises from a series of ideas crystallized. These thoughts arise from a variety of memorable experiences. All of our experiences in childhood will be footing basis. From here we then develop more complex thinking.
Experience how that will shape the thinking? All the experience that we experience in our lives. What we hear, what we see and what we experience in childhood will influence our thinking. These initial thoughts and then we bring in the association of youth and adults. And finally we make today.
Once we have children then we will operate with the thought that already inherent in us. Thought is at the base of each of our actions. These thoughts become perception.
One thing that most people do not realize is that this perception could lock our thinking. This perception is a corridor of our thinking. He traps us in it. Best of our ability to think if the first one then the perception will not find the answers we want.
Take for example a child who was fed up eating running to and fro. If our initial perception that this child naughty, fussy eating, not value my time and various other negative initial perceptions then our actions will be negative as well. Angry for example. Or say something that annoyed tone, eg "Come quick! Mama's still not deal with any other job you do!", The child himself does not feel important, he felt himself unable to meet the expectations his parents, but he did not want to eat. Eventually the child has no apparent conflict of self and pride to be contaminated. Or "If running like that, I would not suapi you again!". The fact is he fed up again tomorrow. Parents become inconsistent in the eyes of a child.
But if our initial perception is positive for example, "I have to help him understand why he needs to eat now", or "He is a child who needs to understand" the next action can be very different for us. Maybe we will ask him very attentively to find the reason why he ran when fed a meal. The result is the child feel cared for and understood. He could feel welcome so that developing healthy self-esteem.
From these examples it is clear that the direct perception of our actions. And our actions are ultimately triggered a reaction from the child. The reaction of the child would trigger certain thoughts. And this thought will shape the child's perception of himself. Finally, children's self concept is formed. Can you see your role as a parent is very large in shaping your child's self concept? Did you know that self-concept is what will determine his future later?
Parents, in particular a significant degree, also determine the future and the fate of a child through their attitudes and actions to their children. As parents we are very obliged to develop self-control and awareness is very high through the efforts of continuous learning so that we could set an example and the best example for our children. Like the tree and fruit, we parents are the root of which determines the quality of fruits like what we produce. If, as our roots are not able to absorb nutrients around us and not able to channel it into the trunk of fruit on the tree then there will not develop properly.
As parents we need to develop themselves to improve themselves by way of controlling our perception and re-examine the origins of those perceptions are formed within ourselves for the future of our children.
Source
http://www.kaskus.us/showthread.php?t=7867220
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